The ambivalence is always about you and the relationship. things in The Grey Zone-uncertain, indifferent, open-ended, and downright shady. Yes, there are gray areas in every new relationship, but that doesn't No, you don't know if this is a forever thing or if it'll end tomorrow, but. It is okay to ask someone whom you are in a relationship with where the hell your Open-ended responses keep things in The Grey Zone.
The answer is really plain and simple. It is because you are dealing with the emotional stylings of an emotionally unavailable person.
They often operate from what I like to call The Grey Zone. The Grey Zone is characterized by ambivalence. The etymology of the word ambivalence is as follows: Wait for the jaw dropper.
This may shock you. However, ambivalence means that they feel TWO ways about you and have conflicting feelings about you.
10 signs your relationship is stuck in a gray zone - Relationship Rules
This nicely sums up ambivalence. This may come as a shock to you. It is much harder to let go of someone who has conflicting feelings about you. It is easier to let go of someone whom you know to be a complete moron if they are a moron ALL the time.
More likely than not your EUP can, and has seduced you, with occasional crumbs of decency, thoughtfulness, spending time together, phone calls, text messages etc. You're not sure where you'll be living within the next year, and you haven't even decided if you want to share your space with a cat yet, let alone creating another set of keys for your partner.
Trying to figure out your life is a struggle. Throwing another person into the mix can be a recipe for disaster. Taking time to figure out you is crucial before you can decide what path you want to take with a new love interest. Until then, maybe it's best to avoid trying to create labels and establish boundaries with your new partner until you've figured out your life flying solo. Maybe not knowing where you stand is for everyone But it's still worth giving a shot!
Think back to the start of your past relationships. Chances are you'll associate those early days with feelings of excitement. The spontaneity of the relationship keeps us on our toes. Admit it, you've spent hours searching for the perfect outfit and busted out some serious dance moves alone in your apartment when the night ends. Why should that have to end? Keeping the spontaneity and the mystery in the deal can make it that much sweeter.
Most importantly, you learn to live in the moment. If you can admit that you're okay with there being a few gray areas in the relationship, then you can stop constantly worrying about the future. No, you may not know that you have one, but since when does establishing a label guarantee a future? Notice how the responses answer nothing directly about if you are in a relationship as a monogamous unit.
That is what you want you may want them to do-define the relationship.
13 Signs Your Relationship Is Stuck In That Gray Area | TheTalko
Instead, these open-ended responses put the focus back on you, take it off of them, and make you solely responsible for defining the relationship so they can dodge accountability. They also often make you feel like a like a grave pain in the ass for bringing up the subject i. It is okay to ask someone whom you are in a relationship with where the hell your relationship is headed.
You have a right to know! When in a relationship with an EUP, they will always offer responses to your questions with open-ended answers and responses. This is one of the prime communication tactics that is a part of their emotionally unavailable arsenal.
Open-ended responses keep things in The Grey Zone. The question you are asking is if THEY love you. Again, the majority of the responsibility and relationship work is left up to you when you get these kinds of weak half-assed responses.
However, if you have a pattern of doing the work all the time, and are a bit stubborn in your nature, you will miss an opportunity to identify the ambivalence that will eventually cause you or may be currently causing you mounds of unnecessary emotional pain.