15 Insights on Improving Mother-Daughter Relationships
May 23, Mother-daughter relationships can be the best ever. If the strain in your relationship is due to an undiagnosed mental health issue (like. Oct 26, The best friend, the one-call-a-week, the glorified babysitter What mother-and- daughter tribe are you?. Jun 11, Editor's Note: While this article provides useful help in repairing broken relationships, we want to be clear that there is no shame in cutting.
For instance, kids commonly think their mom will be nurturing and present — always. This idea can develop from an early age. When her kids were young, Mintle found herself setting up this unrealistic belief during their nightly reading time.
3 Steps To Healing A Strained Mother-Daughter Relationship - Everyday Feminism
Lack of communication is a common challenge with moms and daughters. Be an active listener. They realize conflict is inevitable and they deal with it head on. This applies to mother and daughter relationships, too, she said. Not resolving conflict can have surprising consequences. But pick your battles.
Instead of arguing about something so small, Mintle put the hat on and moved on. Put yourself in her shoes. But a panoramic lens provides a much wider view, letting us see the object in a larger context. Mintle views forgiveness as key for well-being. Balance individuality and closeness. It can be challenging for daughters to build their own identities. Sometimes daughters think that in order to become their own person, they must cut off from their moms, Mintle said.
15 Insights on Improving Mother-Daughter Relationships
Both are clearly problematic. But daughters can find their voices and identities within the relationship. We learn how to deal with conflict and negative emotions through our families, Mintle said.
Mintle and her mom had a positive relationship but sometimes struggled with this balance. When Mintle was a well-established professional in her 30s, her mom would still tell her what to do. Then, she realized that she had to talk to her mom in a different way. The next night her mom said the same thing, Mintle used humor: Moms and daughters disagree on many topics, such as marriage, parenting and career, and they usually try to convince the other to change those opinions, Cohen-Sandler said.
Moms feel threatened and rejected that their daughters are making different decisions. Daughters think their moms disapprove of them and get defensive.
Stick to the present. An issue that is rarely discussed openly in mainstream culture, which makes those affected feel even more abnormal, is the issue of poor mother-daughter relationships. Hence the popularity of stepmother and mother-in-law conflict in storylines. This article here even suggests that stepmothering is more difficult than parenting as a stepfather.
3 Steps To Healing A Strained Mother-Daughter Relationship
Rarely do we come across news articles of biological mother-child conflict. And because a strained relationship between a mother and daughter appears to be outside of the norm, when there is animus or emotional disconnect between a mother and an adult female child, it may actually cause more emotional distress i. Individuals affected by a strained or emotionally absent mother-daughter relationship may try to hide their feelings from others, which only leads to more feelings of shame and loneliness.
So, where do daughters begin to repair poor relationships with their mothers? Why is it important to foster positive relationships between daughters and mothers?
Below, I provide tips on how to repair a broken or strained relationship between adult daughters and their mothers, which serves to preserve or improve the emotional health of the individual, the entire family, and female bonds. Although here I focus on encouraging daughters to initiate healing conversations with their mothers, mothers and other caregivers will find the suggested steps useful as well.
Set Up the Meeting Schedule in advance a time and date to meet. Inform your mother in advance what the meeting will be about. Decide if it will take place in a private place, like your living room, or in a public place, such as a coffee shop. Weigh the pros and cons of a public versus private meet-up. Also, you should know in advance what it is you want to say to your mother and the message you would like to convey.
Only involve the two individuals involved and primarily responsible for any past disagreements and repairing the relationship. The point is to avoid family members from siding with or teaming up against mother or daughter. Of course, after the initial reconciliation talk, other family members can come together and discuss the renewal of the relationship or how to help support the relationship.
Have the Conversation Begin the conversation by thanking your mother for agreeing to join you in the conversation. Inform her that the meeting is very important to you. Then, begin the conversation with identifying the positive aspects of the relationship.
If there is no relationship at all at this point, you can simply begin by pointing out positive characteristics of your mother or positive events or behaviors in her past.
How to Repair a Strained Mother-Daughter Relationship | btcmu.info
Most importantly, instead of beginning the conversation with who or what caused the problem, begin with pointing strengths about the person or the relationship. Be specific about the behavior or characteristic that you feel attracts you or others to your mother, makes you appreciate and value her as a human being, and makes you want to be near her more often.
Mother and daughter both should be given the opportunity to identify strengths about the individual or relationship before moving on to discuss the undesirable aspects of the relationship. Sometimes it is difficult to identify strengths, especially when someone has been in pain for a long time. However, it is very important to let your mother know that she is not a bad person in your eyes. In fact, there are things about her that actually draw you to her and those characteristics must be your focus, for no one wants to be criticized by someone they love.
O wn It is important during the initial dialogue that you own up to your part of the discord. Explain to your mother what mistakes you have made in the past and how you may have contributed to the negative dynamics of the relationship.
P inpoint In this stage of the discussion, pinpoint specifically the action or event that caused you to withdraw from the relationship or lose trust in your parent.