Getting through a long distance relationship

Expert Advice on How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work

getting through a long distance relationship

Things could get complicated, and you could get sad and lonely at times. Long distance relationships may be tough but they have their own relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this. Long-distance relationships, like any relationships, take hard work. long- distance, advised People magazine that the key to overcoming. No one's ever said that long distance relationships are easy, but the distance your partner and become aware of changes your partner might be going through.

Read up on some of those stories and learn from those who have gone before. Talking to each other is great, but make that extra effort sometimes to try something new or go on a long distance date. Writing gives you more time and space to reflect on tricky issues, and letters and emails can become treasured keepsakes or maybe even a book in the future. Tell your partner how they can best help you during those times. Ask your partner to share these things with you, too.

If you want to know how to make a long distance relationship work, learn some basic conflict-management strategies and discuss them with your partner before you find yourself mid-fight.

getting through a long distance relationship

Also check out Love Is A Battlefield: If possible, save your serious disagreements for when you can talk them out in person or at least on the phone. Learn to recognize and control your own emotions Long distance relationships often involve intense emotions and extreme ups and downs.

There are times of intense loneliness, uncertainty, doubts, and fear.

getting through a long distance relationship

There are also times of extreme excitement, joy, and incandescent happiness. Learning to recognize, own, and manage your own emotions will pay off big time—now and in the future. Learn to control any jealousy in your long distance relationship Feeling a little jealous now and again is not unusual in a long distance relationship.

However, uncontrolled jealousy can lead to a destructive combination of suspicion, possessiveness, insecurity, anger, and shame. It is controlling the situation by simply refusing to engage. Distance makes this particularly easy to do hanging up or not answering or returning callsand it can drive your long distance partner crazy with frustration, second-guessing, and self-doubt.

Tackling this hot topic directly can help avoid assumptions and conflict. Do you know what your primary love language is? Do you know how to speak your partners? Also check out The Five Love Languages: What Do You Speak?

How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship

Build your love maps Your love map is your mental network of information about your partner—their interests, stories, what makes them tick, and things you love and admire about them.

The more positive memories and associations you build into this love map, the stronger your relationship will be over time. Also check out The Sound Relationship House: Talking about these things and any growing feelings of jealousy or unease can save you a lot of heartache and conflict in the long run.

Share things with each other that have made you laugh. Surprise your partner every so often with something thoughtful Everyone loves getting a present, a bunch of flowers, or a handwritten letter in the mail.

Every so often, go the extra mile and do something extra and special to help your partner feel loved and valued. Bonus points if the gesture is uber-thoughtful.

Make sure you have some reminders of your partner around—perhaps put their photo on your desktop or tape it to your mirror, drink out a coffee mug they gave you… the possibilities are endless. Find a way to involve and connect your partner with some of the other important relationships in your life. Everyone has different tips and tricks that help them cope better with the ups and downs that come with being in a long distance relationship.

Figure out what works for you, then do it. Build a life where you are. Do things that make you fitter, smarter, and happier.

Do things that interest you. Do these things alone, if need be. Remember, investing in yourself is another way of investing in your most important relationship. You will be happier and healthier in life if you have a strong network of friends beyond your partner.

To do that, you need to spend time connecting with them. Know your limits, and then stay a couple of steps away from those limits. Visit often Visit each other as often as you can without over-stretching your budgets and schedules. You must have some cause that unites you at all times. You must both have a converging trajectory at some point on the horizon. Otherwise, you will inevitably drift apart.

In some cases, people get insanely jealous or irrationally possessive of their partner because they perceive every casual social outing without them as potentially threatening to their relationship.

Are you hiding something from me? I am the only fun in your life! All of these irrational fantasies are unhelpful. Make Communication Optional A lot of long distance couples create rules or expectations that they should have X number of calls or that they need to talk every night at a certain time. You can even find some articles online recommending this sort of behavior.

You talk to each other when you want to, not because you have to.

Make Your Long Distance Relationship Easy & Fun | Modern Love Long Distance

And if that means going days without communicating, then so be it. People get busy, after all. Suspenders just wants to play Candy Crush. When you force communication, two things can happen. Welcome to every shitty marriage ever. This half-assed communication often creates more problems than it solves. Like, if your partner seems more interested in his tax returns than catching up with you, chances are you should just hang up and try again tomorrow.

HOW TO SURVIVE A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

There is such a thing as overexposure. The second problem that can happen from forcing communication is that one or both people can begin to resent feeling obligated to the other person all of the time. The best way to go is to make all communication optional. Both of you can opt out at any time.

The trick is to not take these opt outs personally when they happen — after all, your partner is not your slave. If your partner spontaneously feels as though she only wants to talk a few times a week instead of a few times a day, that is both the cause AND the effect of her feeling more distant.

And easier said than done. Especially when plane flights are involved.

getting through a long distance relationship

And for there to be hope, there must be some possibility that you two will one day be together and achieve your Happily Ever After TM. Without that shared vision of Happily Ever After, everything else will quickly begin to feel meaningless. Remember, love is not enough. You both need to have life visions that are aligned, shared values and mutual interests.

In my second relationship, my girlfriend took a job working in Africa. Meanwhile, I toiled away in the US with no money trying to get my first internet business off the ground.

How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship | Mark Manson

All hope for making it work was removed from the equation and we soon broke up. My current girlfriend is Brazilian. We began dating while I was living there in I left after a few months and we kept in touch.